Acting Training Notes: Auditions 2/15/15

Acting Training Notes: Auditions 2/15/15

Carnalaity, by Mark Loewenstern

I daydream about you. and these are not like your regular run-of-the-mill daydreams. They're elaborate! I know all the details. No I do! Even when I'm making it up. I know the place: What apartment we're living in. What Hotel we're staying at. Which beach we're Lying on. I Know the time: If we're up early, or up late. Or if it's some rainy afternoon. I know what clothes you are wearing: Which black dress, Which pair of blue jeans. I know what you have on underneath them. I know how your hair is: Up or down. Curled, wet. I know what you smell like. Which Perfume, which shampoo. I could tell you the shade of lipstick and nail polish. I know every last part of you that I touch: All the obvious places, and all the secret ones. The ones I know you like.

In preparation for this monologue, I had been practicing it a day or three, and inflicting it on aquaintences to get myself ready. The day of the monologue, a Sunday, I prepped several hours before the auditions. I practiced it time and time again. I did some alexande techinque relaxiation and vocal practice. I did some Kendo practice to calm my nerves.

Then I went to the audition, and did the paperwork. Before we were called in i tried a few more times, including a "one off" drop with nothing before or after it. I was nervous as all hell, but I felt I had it "ready"

Then we had auditions. The normal warmups, stretches, acting activities, etc. Again, I felt I was doing well.

Then we waited. Waited to be called on. I practiced once or twice more out of nervousness. Still, I felt ready enough.

Then I went in the audition for my monolouge. I started well enough, but the anxiety of being in that room, combined with the near maniac pace i had practiced for my delivery hit me like a ton of bricks. I fumbled, i botched my lines, and stopped in the middle. I asked to start over, and they told me to take some breaths and continue. Which i did. I finished the form, but wasn't too happy about my performance.

going out I had one thought. Do it again, but better, Improve my technique. Conquer my fears. It wasn't till an hour or two, and some food in my stomach later that my adreneline dump really cooled off. Even then, my thoughts were. Do better. Nanokarobi, Yaoki. fall seven times. Rise eight.

Pracitecd the technique again more today. After my audition, Kim bouchard told me i needed to focus on my breath more in my technique. In my inital practice yesterday, I was super-concerned about the time, so i developed the monologue into a franctic, maniac pace. I see know how that shot me in the foot. I was practicing delivering it scared. That means if i felt additional fear, the two would stack and mess me up. Which is exactly what happened.

I'm practicing it a new way now. Not rushing, and with some romantic kinda music in the background. Re-tying my associations with that of a hopeful romanitic, rather than a desperate creeper. I may or may not attempt to deliver it again in the second round of auditions tonight. either way, I'm not gonna SIT on my ASS and wait to lose. I'm gonna master my every fear, and keep striving.

I daydream about you. And these are not like your regular run-of-the mill daydreams. They're elaborate. I know all the details. No, I do. Even when I'm making it up. I know the place: what apartment we're living in, what hotel we're staying at, what beach we're lying on. I know the time: if we're up early, or up late, or if it's some rainy afternoon. I know what clothes you're wearing: which black dress, which pair of blue jeans. I know what you have on underneath them. I know how your hair is: up or down, curled, wet. I know what you smell like: which perfume, which shampoo. I could tell you the shade of lipstick and nail polish. I know every last part of you that I touch: All the obvious places, and all the secret ones. the ones I know you like.